Friday, May 9, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14)

 


CHAK DE

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Best one..

Duniya ka sabse 
Mushkil Kaam... ????

Apne 
Kaam se Kaam 
rakhna.....

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This is Super..

"Murgi aur Kauwa ki shadi fix ho gyi..."

Upset Murga murgi se bola- aakhir mujme kya kami thi... tumhari caste ka tha... us kauwa me aisa kya tha

Murgi boli ''Amma abba ki khwaish thi ki ladka airforce me hona chahiye''

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Kash miljaye muje mukadar ki shahi or kalam..

Har lamha lamha likhdu apne dosto ke nam...

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Universal Fact For Men-

Your wife misses you a lot

only when you are partying with your friends.

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सबसे छोटी कविता...
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जिन्दगी एक जंग है,

जबतक बीवी संग है... 

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Ex-girlfriend ki shaadi ka card mila. Thodi takleef to hui.

Phir socha jayenge zaroor;

Mohabbat apni jagah hai aur daawat apni jagah.

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Height of attempting unknown question in an exam...

Question: What is an Array..explain with example?
.
Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend when he is standing far from you.

Eg.:

"ARRAY Yedya , ikde ye

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Lady apne aap se baat karte hue...
Ki...
I really don't understand who has a vacation actually. ....

a wife with kids at her mom's place or

a husband without his wife n kids to be more with his friends...

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 इक्का चाहे कितनी भी बाज़ी मार जाए
मगर 
बेगम तो हमेशा बादशाह कि ही होती है।

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Jab Khayal Aaya to Khayal Bhi unka Aaya,

Jab Aankhen Band Ki To Khwab bhi unka Aaya,

Socha Yaad Kar Loo Kisi Aur ko,

Magar Hoth Khule To Naam Bhi unka Aaya..!!

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Arrested for laughing...!!
This is from an actual trial in the
UK.
A young woman who was several
months pregnant was sitting in a
bus.
When she noticed a young man
smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her
condition.
She changed her seat and he
seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on seeing
him laughing more.
She filed a court case on him. In the
court the man's defence was:-
When the lady boarded the bus i
couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement,
which read "Coming Soon- The
unknown boon"..
I was even more amused when she
then sat under a shaving
advertisement,
which read:- "William's stick did the
trick"..
Then I could not control myself any
longer,
when on the third move she sat
under an advertisement, which
read:- "Dunlop Rubber would have
prevented this accident"..
The case was dismissed.
The judge fell off his chair
laughing !

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मौत को देखा तो नहीं, पर शायद वो बहुत खूबसूरत होगी,

कम्बख़त जो भी उस से मिलता है, जीना छोड़ देता है..

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ग़ज़ब की एकता देखी लोगों की ज़माने में .......

ज़िन्दों को गिराने में और मुर्दों को उठाने में ..

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ज़िन्दगी में ना ज़ाने कौनसी बात "आख़री" होगी,

ना ज़ाने कौनसी रात "आख़री" होगी ।

मिलते, जुलते, बातें करते रहो यार एक दूसरे से,

ना जाने कौनसी "मुलाक़ात" आख़री होगी ....।।।।

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ऐसी बेरुखी भी देखी है हम ने.....!!!
.
के लोग,

आप से तुम तक......तुम से जान तक,

फिर जान से.....अनजान तक हो जाते है.....!!!

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The most stupid questions ppl usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At movies : Hey! Wat are you doing here??
Ans : Don't you know??? I sell tickets in black over here

2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing a pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet: Sorry did that hurt?
Ans: No, not at all. I'm on local anaesthesia. Why dont you try again?

3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl?
Ans: Why? Would it rather have been you??

4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call : Sorry! Were you sleeping?
Ans: No! I was doing a research on whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i was sleeping? You dumb witted moron!

5. When you see a friend with an evidently shorter hair : Hey! Have you had a haircut?
Ans: Nah! Its autumn & am shedding !! :D

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Women wear Mangalsutra / Sindoor to show they're married..
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Men carry Tupperware lunch boxes into office to show they are married......

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दिलों कि बात करता हैं ज़माना.

पर आज भी मोहोब्बत चेहरों से ही शुरू होती हैं  !!

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Ajeeb andhera hai a ishq teri mehfil mai... 

Kisi ne dil bhi jalaya to roshni na hui...

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Dil se Haso to Saza Dete hai Log,

Sache Jajabat bhi Thukra Dete hai Log,

Kya Dekhenge Do Insano ki Dosti,,

Jab Sath Bhethe 2 Parindo ko bhi Uda dete hai Log...

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Nahi Rehta Koi Shakhs Adhoora Kisi Cheez Ke Bina ...

Waqt Guzar Hi Jata Hai Kuch Paa kar Bhi Kuch Kho kar Bhi .

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