Sunday, May 4, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Shayaris, Quotes, Poem, Jokes (03.05.14)




यादें पीछे ले जाती हैं,

लेकिन ज़िन्दगी सिर्फ आगे जाती है!


मुझे नींद की इजाज़त भी उसकी यादों से लेनी पड़ती है......!

जो खुद तो सो जाता है, मुझे करवटों में छोड़ कर..................!!


Girl ordered a pizza Waiter: Mam should I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8

Girl: 4 hee kar de, 8  khaaungi to Moti ho jaungi...


"If you don't STAND for SOMETHING, 

how can anyone RESPECT what you DO?"


Opportunities Are Equal For All, But The Difference Is That 

+positive Person Gives RESULTS  and negative Person Gives REASONS. 


Judge: Do you want to Stay with your Mom?

Child: No. She Beats me.

Judge: Then do you want to Stay with your Dad?

Child: No,He also Beats me. 

Judge: Than how about your Grandparents or Uncle?

Child: No, they also Beat me.

Judge: Ok. So tell with who you want to Stay ?

Child: I want to Stay with "Mumbai Indians"

They Dont Beat Anybody


A Woman came to a doctor beaten black & blue said - 

Every time My Husband comes home drunk, He beats Me..

Doctor - I've a good remedy for that, Whenever he comes home drunk, 

just take a glass of Mouthwash & start Gargling till he goes to sleep..

Two weeks later she came back looking reborn & fresh & said - Wat a brilliant idea, 

whenever he comes home drunk, I just Gargle & He never beats Me..!

Doctor - You see ! How Keeping Ur MOUTH SHUT, Helps...


True Persons And Well Wishers In Our Life Are Like Stars,

That Constantly Shine But we often Do Not See Them Until The Dark Hours Come.


 "नीलाम कुछ इस कदर हुए,  बाज़ार-ए-वफ़ा में हम आज,, 

बोली लगाने वाले भी वो ही थे,  जो कभी झोली फैला कर माँगा करते थे!!


...इतना कुछ होते हुए भी
शब्दकोश में असंख्य शब्द होते हुए भी...
...मौन होना सब से बेहतर है। 

...दुनिया में हजारों रंग होते हुए भी...
काला और सफेद रंग सब से बेहतर है। 

...खाने के लिए दुनिया भर की चीजें होते हुए भी...
...उपवास शरीर के लिए सबसे बेहतर है। 

...पर्यटन के लिए रमणीक स्थल होते हुए भी...
...पेड़ के नीचे ध्यान लगाना सबसे बेहतर है। 

...देखने के लिए इतना कुछ होते हुए भी...
...बंद आँखों से भीतर देखना सबसे बेहतर है। 

...सलाह देने वाले लोगों के होते हुए भी...
...अपनी आत्मा की आवाज सुनना सबसे बेहतर है। 

...जीवन में हजारों प्रलोभन होते हुए भी...
...सिद्धांतों पर जीना सबसे बेहतर है। 🎭


(This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain)

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. 

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. 

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, 
"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied,
"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese". 

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg. 

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, 
"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." 

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." 

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."


**Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?

Brother: A football

Sister: But grandma does not play!

Brother: On my b'day she gave me bhagvad gita.  Uska kya?


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