Wednesday, April 30, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Anushka Sharma turns 26, we take a look at her life in pic

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[Hindi Jokes] Gavaskar's incredibly funny mimicry of Javed Miandad

Gavaskar's incredibly funny mimicry of Javed Miandad

www.lovelimes.com

Last week we saw the funny side of Sunil Gavaskar when the cricketer made an appearance on the popular comedy show Comedy Nights with Kapil along with cricketer Virender Sehwag. Gavaskar shared quite a few anecdotes from his cricketing days that sent the audience into peals of laughter. He accurately mimicked Javed Miandad and shared a few of Miandad's antics to intimidate the bowler. Watch this video where he copies the lisp, it will surely make your sides ache!

Click to Play this Video...

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[Hindi Jokes] Woman running over a dog is the creepiest video you'll see today

Woman running over a dog is the creepiest video you'll see today

www.lovelimes.com

A creepy YouTube video of a woman running over a dog, named 'Who let her behind the wheel', has gone viral.
The video seems to be a Russian advertisement that shows a woman driving alone on a solitary road late at night
when she accidentally runs over a dog that appears out of nowhere. Does she really run over him? When she gets
down to check if everything is alright, she presumes the dog is no more. What happens next will disturb you.
The dog wakes up and drives her car away!

Click to Play this Video...

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[Hindi Jokes] Shayaris, Jokes, Cool (30.04.14)

 


CHAK DE

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अंत में लिखी है दोनों कि बर्बादी,

आशिक़ हो या हो कोई आतंकवादी.

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बड़े-बुज़ुर्ग कहते थे कि 

जले पर टूथपेस्ट लगा लो, 

कम्बख्तों ने टूथपेस्ट में भी 

नमक डाल दिया ।

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हमारा दुश्मन हमसे बोला "बहुत महंगी पड़ेगी तुझेदुश्मनी मेरी "...

हमने उसको उत्तर ये दिया कि "सस्ती चीज हम कभी खरीदते ही नहीं"

=======

Ek ghar me saas-bahu bahot pyar se rehte the..

ek baar ghar me ek guest aya..

bahu ne saas ko uss guest se baat karte suna..

saas keh rhi thi 'Beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h aur bahu namak ki tarah'..

ye sun kar bahu ko bahot bura laga..

wo udas rehne lagi..

jab saas ko is baat ka pata chala to bahu se kaaran puchha..

bahu ne kaaran bataya.

Tab saas ne hans kar kaha 'uss baat ka matlab he..

beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h jo har haal me mithi lagti h

jabki bahu namak ki tarah hoti h jiska karz nhi chukaya ja sakta
Jinke bina har ceez ka swaad be-swaad ho jaata hai "

.So ALL BAHURANIS CHEER UP ..  YOU ARE THE BEST

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ये जो मेरी कब्र पर रोते हैं न ,

अभी उठ जाऊं तो जीने न दे ........!!

=======

खेरात में मिली हुई खुशी हमे पसंद नही है क्यूंक

हम गम में भी नवाब की तरह जीते है...!!!-

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अगर जींदगी मे कुछ पाना हो तो 

तरीके बदलो,....ईरादे नही...!!!

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Seasons in India:

1: "Raincoat to pehen le"

2: "Sweater paherna nahi tha to kharida kyon"

3: "Paani pi ke bottle bhar diya karo kabhi"

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Once my wife wanted me to surprise her with something for birthday that would take her breath away



so I got her a treadmill !!

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Sardar ji Bank me paise jama karane gaya.

Cashier-
Tumhare Note nakli hai.

Sardar-
Tujhe kya farak padata hai?
Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na..!! 

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वो अक्सर मुझसे कहते थे,

की रिश्ते फूल जैसे होते है.....

कदम रुक से गए आज मेरे,

बाजार में फूल बिकते देखकर.....

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'सब्र' और 'सच्चाई' एक ऐसी सवारी है.....

जो अपने सवार को कभी गिरने नहीं देती.....

ना किसी के कदमो में...और

ना किसी की नज़रों में...

========

"नही है हमारा हाल, 

कुछ तुम्हारे हाल से अलग, 

बस फ़र्क है इतना, 

कि तुम याद करते हो, 

और हम भूल नही पाते."

=======

तेरी आँखो से एक चीज़ लाजवाब पीता हु ...

मैं हु तो ग़रीब पर सबसे महँगी शराब पीता हु...

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वोह कबसे तलवार लिये मेरे पीछे भाग रही है...

मैने तो मजाक मै कहा था की...
दिल चीर के दैख... तेरा ही नाम होगा...

=======

Monday Night:

Wife: Aaj tum daaru peeke aaye ho ! Kyun?
Husband : Arre Aaj office mai foreign clients k saath meeting thi to peeni padi 

Tuesday Night:

Wife: Aaj tum fir daaru peeke aaye ho ! Kyun?
Husband : Arre Aaj mere ek friend ki engagement thi to Usne party di isliye

Wednesday Night:

Wife: Aaj bhi tum peeke aaye..
Husband: Arre Aaj ek friend ka breakup ho gaya...WO bahut udaas tha to Uska mood fresh karne ke liye...

Thursday Night:

Wife: Aaj fir se...Ab kiska breakup ho gaya?
Husband: Breakup nahi....Aaj Office mai work load bahut tha...bahut tension thi....isliye

Friday Night:

Wife: Aaj kyun?
Husband : Arre jis friend ki engagement thi na Tuesday ko, Aaj uski shaadi thi...to khushi ke mauke pe to....samajh gayi na

Saturday Night:

Wife: hmmm...Ab?
Husband : Aaj purane school friends mil gaye the to WO disco le gaye aur zabardasti pila di...maine bahut mana bhi kiya par maane nahi...

Sunday Night:

Wife (gusse se): Ab Aaj kya ho gaya..

Husband : AAJ MERA MOOD THA

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मेरे बारे मे कोइ राय मत बनाना गालिब,

मेरा वक्त भी बदलेगा, और तेरी राय भी ।

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वो रोई जरुर होगी खाली कागज़ देखकर ज़वाब में..

जिंदगी कैसी बीत रही है पूछा था उसने ....!

=======

WOMAN.
When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day.......

An angel came by and asked." Why spend so much time on her ?".
.                                          
The lord answered. " Have you seen all the  specifications I have to meet to shape her?".....  

" She must be washable but not made of plastic,   .. 
have more than 200 moving parts which must be replaceable  

she must function on all kinds of foods,  ...

she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, 

give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart , 

she must do all this with only two hands,.." 

She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day".... ...                                                                                                          
THE ANGEL was impressed. .." Just two hands.....impossible !" ..

And this is the standard model ? ! ...." 

The Angel came closer and touched the woman"......  ..

." But you have made her so soft, Lord".....

." She is soft", said the Lord, 

" But I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome "...

."Can she think?" The Angel asked...

The Lord answered. " Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate" ...
.
The Angel touched her cheeks.....

" Lord, it seems this creation is leaking !  You have put too many burdens on her. " ...

."She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the Angel...

" What's it for?" Asked the Angel..... .
.
The Lord said. " Tears are her way of expressing 
her grief, 
her doubts, 
her love, 
her loneliness, 
her suffering and 
her pride."...

THIS made a big impression on the Angel, 

" Lord, you are genius. 
You thought of everything. 
A  woman is indeed marvellous !".... ...
.
Lord said." Indeed she is. 

She has strength that amazes a man. 

She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. 

She holds happiness, love and opinions. 

She smiles when she feels like screaming. 

She sings when she feels like crying, 
cries when happy and 
laughs when afraid. 

She fights for what she believes in. 

Her love is unconditional. 

Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies 

but she finds strength to get on with life." ..

The Angel asked : So she is a perfect ? 

The lord replied : No. She has just one drawback

" She often forgets what she is worth".

=======


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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Ustad Alla Rakha: Google doodles the tabla maestro's 95th birthday

The two Os on the Google logo turn into a tabla to commemorate the 95th birth anniversary of one of the
greatest players of the Indian musical instrument. With the trademark smile on his lips Ustad Alla Rakha
appears on the Google India home page tapping a taal.

Reverentially called Abbaji, Alla Rakha was born on April 29, 1919 in Phagwal, Jammu.
His full name is Allarakha Qureshi Khansaheb.

He traced his musical lineage to the the Punjab gharana and was responsible for bringing the tabla to
 the non-Indian audiences while as an accompanist to another Indian musical legend, Ravi Shankar.

www.lovelimes.com

At the age of 12 he left home to learn the tabla and in 1936 joined All India Radio in Lahore (now in Pakistan)
and was in 1938 transferred to Bombay. After a few years of radio, he joined films as a music composer in 1943.
He composed under the name AR Qureshi.

In 1958, he more or less stopped composing for films and began touring the world with Ravi Shankar and was
instrumental
in raising awareness about Indian classical music around the world.

Ustad Alla Rakha was honoured with the Padma Shri in 1977 and the Sangeet Natak Akademi Award in 1982.

He founded the Alla Rakha Institute of Music in Bombay in 1985. His three sons - Zakir Hussain, Fazal Qureshi,
and Taufiq Qureshi - are also respected tabla players.

Alla Rakha died on February 3, 2000 in Mumbai following a heart attack.

Watch Video Here: http://lovelimes.com/showthread.php?19982-Ustad-Alla-Rakha-Google-doodles-the-tabla-maestro-s-95th-birthday

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Sunday, April 27, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] good sayings

 


महावीर स्वामी पेड़ के नीचे ध्यानमग्न बैठे थे। पेड़ पर आम लटक रहे
थे।
बच्चों ने आम तोड़ने के लिए पत्थर फेंके। कुछ पत्थर आम को लगे
और एक महावीर स्वामी को लगा।
बच्चों ने कहा - प्रभु! हमेंक्षमा करें, हमारे कारण आपको कष्ट हुआ
है।
प्रभु बोले - नहीं, मुझे कोई कष्ट नहीं हुआ।
बच्चों ने पूछा - तो फिर आपकी आंखों में आंसू क्यों?
महावीर ने कहा - पेड़ को तुमने पत्थर मारा तो इसने तुम्हें मीठे फल
दिए, पर मुझे पत्थर मारा तो मैं तुम्हें कुछ नहीं दे सका, इसलिए मैं
दुखी ह
ये चन्द पंक्तियाँ
जिसने भी लिखी है
खूब लिखी है

ग़लतियों से जुदा
तू भी नही,
मैं भी नही,

दोनो इंसान हैं,
खुदा तू भी नही,
मैं भी नही ... !

" तू मुझे ओर मैं तुझे
इल्ज़ाम देते हैं मगर,
अपने अंदर झाँकता
तू भी नही,
मैं भी नही " ... !!

" ग़लत फ़हमियों ने कर दी
दोनो मैं पैदा दूरियाँ,
वरना फितरत का बुरा
तू भी नही,
मैं भी नही...!!
एक पथ्थर सिर्फ एक बार मंदिर जाता है और भगवान बन जाता है ..
इंसान हर रोज़ मंदिर जाते है फिर भी पथ्थर ही रहते है ..!!
        💯%✔

Sent from Samsung Mobile

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[Hindi Jokes] Seven Easy ways to earn, even after death.

 


CHAK DE

Seven Easy ways to earn, even after death.

1)Give a copy of bhagwad geeta/jain aagam/bible to someone. 
Each time 1 reads from it, u gain.

2)Donate a wheelchair to a hospital. Each time sick person uses it,u gain.

3)Participate in building a Temple, hospital ,school or college.anybody uses it, u gain

4)Place water cooler in a public place. Anybody drinks water. u gain

5)Plant a tree. U gain whenever a person, animal sits in its shade or eats from it.

6) Donate ur eyes after death u gain whenever a blind person see the world.

7)And the easiest of all to Share this message with people.
Even if 1 applies any of the  above, u gain.i just did.

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