Tuesday, August 5, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] shayaris, Jokes (06.08.14)

 


CHAK DE

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बुराई से सिर्फ वो ही लड़ा है 

जो सच की नीव पे खड़ा है 

याद करेगा ये दोस्त मेरा भी 

दिलजले से जो पाला पड़ा है

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उसका वादा भी बडा अजीब था जिंदगी भर साथ निभाने का; 

मैंने भी ये नहीं पूछा कि मुहब्बत में साथ दोगे या यादों में ...

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उसी से पूछ लो उसके इश्क की कीमत,

हम तो बस भरोसे पे बिक गए...

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काश कोई आईना ऐसा भी होता जो पीठ दिखा पाता ,

आखिर किसके कितने खंजर लगे ये तो जान पाता .

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उनके हाथ में मेंहदी लगाने का हमें यह फायदा हुआ

कि रात भर हम उनके चेहरे से जुल्फें हटाते रहे .........

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Swamiji, I doubt my husband has been cheating on me.... 

I have doubt on one woman.... what to do?
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.
.
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Take your husband to that woman's doorstep...

and see if his wifi connects automatically. 

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NEVER LIE TO A SMART WOMAN

Man on phone: Honey I've been asked to go fishing with my boss for 2 days...30- 31st. 
This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. 
So, could you please pack enough clothes for 2 days, 
set out my rod & fishing box. 
We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to pick my things.
 Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas !


The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said

The husband came home on 1st jan even a little tired but looking good.

The wife welcomed him & asked if he caught any fish ?

He said "Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn't u pack my blue silk pajamas ?"

You'll love the answer..!!


She says,
"I did.. They're in your fishing box!!!!!!!!

Game over....

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A doctor addressing a large audience in Oxford
Opening the floor with questions can be disastrous


"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, 
years ago Red meat is full of steroids and dye.

Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. 
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-fat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by germs in our drinking water.

But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, 
or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, 
and softly said, "Wedding Cake".

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प्लेटफार्म पर ढेर सारा सामान लिए खड़ी एक औरत से कुली ने पूछा , 

मैडम कुली चाहिए ?

औरत ने बड़ी विनम्रता के साथ जबाब दिया,

नहीं भैया मेरे पति मेरे साथ हैं...

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